Welcome on the website for and by ex-members of the Focolare movement. The
website is made in order to give people who have left the Focolare a chance
to meet in freedom. The site also provides information for people not yet
familiar with the Focolare and for people who consider leaving the movement.
Link to a remarkable article
about ex-focolarina Monique from Holland.
NEW FORM AND CONTENTS
Just as a person grows and changes a website like this also changes. The
website is now more than seven years in the air and most of the growing
pains are gone. The makers of this site now have a more clear vision on the
goal of the site and the needs of the reader. After Chiara Lubich passed
away many people came in contact with us and that has given us even more
insight in the methods of the Focolare movement and the best way to cope.
Presently all together a big group of men and women who were active in the
movement for many years have left the Focolare, with pain in their hearts.
People who have for years lived in the Focolare have written us and visited
us. But who are we? We are people who spent years in the Focolare and
now are on our own. We have ourselves experienced how important it is to be
able to share and talk to someone who really understands. We bring people
together in a safe way, without any loss of freedom of action and with
respect for integrity and privacy. We never tell anyone who you are,
where you live or your name. If you want to tell anything you do it in your
own time in your own way.
What we can tell is that at this point a lot of people from Scandinavia,
England, Argentina, America, Germany, Belgium and the Netherlands and other
countries are in contact with us. We hear personal stories but they have
also things in common. People who have finally, after years, regained their
freedom and they are happy. They tell about lack of freedom and manipulation
in the Focolare movement and how this is structural and not due to
single persons who have not understood “the Ideal”. We hear that faith in
God is possible, even more now that nobody calls from Rome every day to
disturb the communication with God. Many say that it was necessary to leave
the movement to be able to really live as a Christian and to follow Jesus.
The time after Focolare is difficult but it helps if you can talk to people
who have gone through or go through the same process. That is why we invite
you to take contact with us, anonymously if you like, through email
or our guestbook. Your story will not be published on the site, even if you
presently can read a lot of personal stories on the website. What you mail
us stay confidential and will never be published without your consent.
Together we can discover how to pick up our own lives when we, after years
within the Focolare movement, are again free and in charge of our daily life
In different zones of the movement
there have been recent new developments. We see many people leave the
movement because they can no longer participate in the destruction of people
by means of taking their individuality away. We understand that this brings
much pain and suffering and we hope that those who leave the movement can
find consolation and understanding in having contact with the makers of this
A brand new article by Gordon
Note: This is not a official Focolare website. The information on our
website reflects the personal views and opinions of the webmasters and the
visitors of this website. We thank everybody for the many encouraging
reactions. Please feel free to write to us; we have taken every possible
precaution to guarantee your privacy and confidentiality.
Why did we start
Several years ago I had
the opportunity to meet Mother Theresa of Calcutta. With some pride in my
voice I told her that I was a gen. She looked at me with much love in her
eyes and said: "There is much more to life than Focolare..."
At that time I was
astonished because I believed that there was not anything bigger than the
Ideal. Only now I have come to understand the meaning of her words. It is
the joy of loving Jesus, without structures, organization or dogmas that I
like to keep in my heart, and forget about the rules and limitations that I
found in the focolare. This website wants to show that there is more than
Focolare, and that there is freedom of loving after you leave the movement.
The only freedom I know is that of a free mind. Unfortunately, there is no
freedom of mind, nor of speech in the movement. As somebody told me, "I had
to leave the movement in order to live my life in a free Christian spirit."
A new startling story from one of our visitors:
This site is such a surprise. I was introduced to the movement in 1976, and
I thought I had found "the answer" to all the pains of my childhood as well
as to the unhappy circumstances of a bad marriage. The love of "Jesus
Forsaken" as a means to accept imperfect life and still be able to love and
contribute to God's work, was a revelation I needed. The following 19 years
with the movement was filled with ups and downs of joy and confusion and
guilt. I believed with all my heart I was "living the Ideal" and yet, with
my husband and with the members of the movement, I was never quite "good
enough". When I could not commit to an offering of money (the RED), because
my controlling husband never gave me my own money, I was invited to talk to
a Cappa Focolarina and it was "suggested" that I really did not have what it
took to live the "difficult and demanding" life of a true married Focolarina.
I was crushed. I attempted to live out the "Ideal" as a Volunteer, but never
had a grappola, as I lived far from any Focolare community. I was pushed to
get "members" to form one. Another Focolarina told me my "downfall" to
living a vocation was to be my attachment to my husband and my analytical
mind. I had always thought these would be good things to have. I began to
doubt myself and my marriage.
The main goal of this website is to help
people understand the Focolare for what it really is. We try to do this in
1. Information and counseling for people who are feeling
unfree or manipulated because they arepart of the Focolare or
the Gen movement
2.Understanding and friendship for people who have left the Focolare
3. A warning for people who are thinking about joining the Focolare
This website does not repeat the information given on the official Focolare
website. We give our own thoughts and impressions and are independent of the
We are working hard to translate our website to other languages like Italian
, Spanish, German and Dutch. We would also like to improve the visual
appearance of our website. Because we are still a small group, we could use
some help. Please if anybody has some time, contact us at email@example.com.
Every offer will be seriously considered.
All people to whom young people turn in their quest, should feel their deep
responsibility to offer their best life experience, but *never* make the
young ones dependent on themselves or on any ideology - instead youngsters
should be encouraged to think by themselves and look for their own
conclusions and deductions, even somehow "pushed" to walk by themselves.
It has been a few weeks ago that I came across this unique website.
Really, you are doing an great job. You show another side of the focolare that has not been revealed by other sources, only by Gordon
Urquhart’s excellent book.
When I mailed my thoughts to the webmaster I got very good
response and now I have contact with other people who have been involved in
the movement. This is a great help. I’d like to thank everybody who has made
this possible. If anybody is out there not knowing what to think of this
website, I can only say, don’t hesitate but contact the webmaster. Share
your ideas and you will see how life after focolare can also be good.
We all have the love of God in our hearts, nothing can change that. But we
are not made to be alone. For me, it has been good to find new friends here
who respect me, trust me, without trying to influence or manipulate me.
Special thanks to a unique person in the web team who went through a great
deal of trouble to make me understand things better.
A few of my best friends are living in a focolare, some of them even because
at one time I have introduced them to the movement. Now I feel very sorry
for them because they have lost all their privacy in order to live their
Ideal of God-Love. I know it is their own free choice to do so, but I cannot
understand why everybody has to pay such a high price for wanting to live
the Word of God.
Chiara took the Gospel very literally, which was a great strength, but not
everyone is as strong as she was. Many people break down under the pressure
of living in a glass cage. I appeal to all the leaders of the Focolare to
ease down a little, be more open minded and allow some privacy to the
members of the Focolari.
In the end this openness will help to keep the Ideal alive. Think about it
and you will see it is the decent thing to do.
The alternative site about Focolare has a great value. It
has a duty to tell people that contact with this movement
implies that you will have to accept a lot of rules that many sects use to obtain trust.
You can't close your eyes in front of the techniques used by Focolare in
order to keep you
in and convince you not to express the reasonable doubts that could arise.
You should recognize them and then you could tell me if the Truth of
justifies those techniques. I don't think so, but I could understand such a
point of view. What's your
Moreover, the value of this site is also the fact that it provides to many
ex-members a VERY important place in which they can share their (often
painful, like mine) experiences lived in Focolare.
Is there a happy life after focolare?
It certainly is possible but you have to find some solutions. If you know somebody
from your region who has left try to spend time together and try to talk
talk talk; you will be so amazed at what the other says, that they struggled
with exactly the same things as you did.
I did the same I went for a walk with somebody I had know for a very long
time; now for the first time I met her as she was; she had struggled with
the same things but never ever we would have talked about that in our
focolare period because then you would be out of the supernatural.
My dear friends we consist of a natural and supernatural part and should
take care of both. As you will have lost all of your former focolare friends
why not go on holiday together. Try to remember what you liked as a hobby
before you entered focolare and take it up again. If you hurt too much go
and seek help with a psychiatrist you don't have money ask focolare if you
have given your superfluous and insist on it that you need it. Be patient
with yourself, in time you will find new friends, hobbies and a new aim in
life. Take courage!
Recently we received many e-mails, both from people who encourage us and
also from people that are very angry with this website. Now it is possible
to write your opinion in the guestbook, but we also like to put some more
questions on this site. We like to hear a reaction from the official
Focolare movement, but also from people who are members or ex-members of
this organization. The official Focolare leadership is especially invited to
clarify their point of view.
1. Why do so many people in the focolare see the
brainwashing and manipulation, and still continue to stay in the movement?
2. Why do so many people accept that the Focolare organization keeps all
its financial dealings a
3. Why do some Focolare people have expensive cars and beautiful houses,
while others suffer?
4. Why is Loppiano more and more empty and why do so may
people with eternal vows leave the movement?
In a recent verdict the Dutch High Court has prevented a focolarino to
receive a tax-reduction. The Court ruled that a member of the Focolare is
bound to give all his belongings and money to the Movement. This makes it
impossible for him to use the same money claiming it is a free gift and
receive a tax-deduction.
In our opinion this case proves once again that money is a most important
issue for the Focolare people. Fortunately there are some officials yet who
can see clearly what is right and what is just too much. For those of you
who want to know every detail we put in the link:
In our last count it turned out the international Focolare website has 800
web-pages now. They are overwhelming the net as well as the real world, with
more drive than any international commercial company. It seems that those
who run the organization these days have gone a long way from the humble
beginning without a clear goal, like Chiara had at the start of the
movement, some 60 years ago.
Please visit the
Focolare network Guestbook
A recommended book about Focolare, just click on the image
For nine years, Urquhart belonged to Focolare, whose 80,000 core members
live in 1,500
dioceses around the world. He left in 1976 and has since devoted himself to
exposing what he now calls the "sinister characteristics" of the focolare.
Urquhart summarizes their features this way: "the personality cult of the
leader; a hidden but rigid hierarchy; a highly efficient internal
communications system; secret teachings revealed in stages; a vast
recruitment operation using sect-like techniques; indoctrination of members;
and boundless ambitions for influence in church and society." Of greatest
concern to Urquhart is another goal of the focolare: "ego-destruction,
causing depression and mental breakdown on an alarming scale."