This humble website exists
to offer you information about the Focolare movement,
information that you cannot find on the official website.
As long as the people who have had problems with the
Focolare are not heard and do not have a voice on the
official website, this website will provide a platform.
Here people can share their experiences, ask questions and
give their opinions freely.
Four and a half months after the release of
the book La setta divina....
The Focolare movement still has to come up
with an answer, but one of the contributors to the book
has written to our website and she has also released a
very interesting video on Youtube.
We are happy to share this news with all our readers.
My name is Monique van Heynsbergen, I am an ex
focolarina from the Netherlands.
I would like to say a few things about the book LA SETTA
DIVINA (The Divine Sect). The author and research
journalist Ferruccio Pinotti has done an extraordinary
job. He described the dark aspects of the Focolare
Movement and explained the sectarian drifts. And I would
say, he revealed the mysteries of the Movement.
In the book you also can read 18 testimonies (inclusive
mine) of former members: very painful stories of
different people from different parts of the world,
victims who have suffered abuse on various levels,
former members who tell what they experienced within the
Movement and explain why they left. I read everything
and I noticed that all these testimonies have
similarities. It means that there is something general
in the structure of the Movement, in the so-called
"system of unity", that does not work, that does not
fit!
I got to know that there were much more testimonies, but
the book already counted 500 pages.... Well, I
cannot speak for other people, I can only say something
about my own personal experience: I got to know
the Focolare Movement in 1965. One of Chiara Lubich's
first companions, Graziella De Luca, was traveling to
the Netherlands for her apostolic work and in that
occasion my father met the Focolarini. A few weeks
later, my father suddenly died of a heart attack. Some
Focolarine, having our address, came to our house and my
family, mother and four children, were invited to come
to the Mariapolis. This was the start of a new chapter.
I was 10 years old and I was very sad about the death of
my father, all of us in the family were shocked. Near my
school there was a house where Focolarine were living in
a commune and I often went there after school. The
Focolarine were so kind to me and gave me attention;
because of the emptiness and the sad atmosphere at home,
I wanted to stay more and more there in the Focolare, as
a new family. I participated in the meetings of the Gen
and I wanted to follow Chiara, to choose God in the
first place in my life. Me too - as a Gen – I wanted to
commit myself to unity. I did not realize that I was
slipping into another world, into a "parallel reality".
One day, I was 13 years old, I received a note from Eli
Folonari, Chiara's secretary. The note says:
(September 5, 1969) “Dearest Monique, Chiara has
chosen for you the same name as hers: CHIARA. Are you
happy? I wish you to be really a little Chiara. In
unity, Eli.”
I really thought I had the vocation to be a Focolarina.
Then, at the age of 19, I officially entered in the
Focolare commune, but I didn't realize that I had joined
a cult. I wanted to live for unity, but I did not
realize that to reach such a lofty ideal I had to give
up the most authentic of my being. How many times I have
heard those famous words of Chiara, I still know them by
heart. Some quotes: "Every soul of the Focolare has to
be my expression and nothing else ...To live the Life
that God has given them, they must be nourished by the
God who lives in my soul ... They must therefore let
themselves be generated by me "....(end quotes)
Yes indeed, we had to live "the Soul"....the soul of
Chiara. How many times I have been told: "Monique must
not exist"..."Monique must be dead". This was my
"education" in the years of growth, in adolescence. And
even if there were things I didn't understand, people
said to me "It doesn't matter if you don't understand,
as long as Chiara understands!" In addition, I
grew up in a female system. This created confusion in me
in juvenile development and adolescence, because the
person responsible for me was a woman and in the life of
unity the only point of reference. In a very subtle
manner I was more and more in her power, as if she
entered inside of me on an emotional, psychological and
spiritual level. Even later, growing up, somebody else
was still thinking for me. This created a deep
dependence on my capo who represented Chiara. I was - so
to speak -, "in love" with the person who kept me in
prison and I did not know how to get out of this strong
dependence. Outside of unity, outside of the Movement,
who am I ???
At the age of 33 I felt so crushed, under pressure, that
I wanted to end my days. I had the feeling of being two
people: on the one hand I was the external Monique, the
good Focolarina in the national center, the
pseudo-personality. On the other side I was the inner
Monique, the real one, the hidden one and... so lonely.
I had to leave Focolare for not getting crazy.
Some time ago I have read a metaphor who says: being in
a sect is the same as a fetus that is inside the
mother's uterus. The mother feeds, and the fetus is very
well, in a warm place and safe. But then, to become a
real person you must get out of that uterus and learn to
stand on your own feet.
Well, in 1988 I went out and in fact I had to learn many
things in life… After a long road of ‘healing’ I can say
that I am well, I have rebuilt a life, I am serene and
happy. Even if I still live with consequences,
underneath I am always living with a wound inside of me,
that is part of my life, that made me the person I am
now today. I speak of a wound because I see all those
years in the Focolare as a great rape! Violence on my
being, violence in my soul. I do not know how to say it
differently ..... It was a painful road to be able to
regain my autonomy, my dignity. It was a painful
road to rediscover the strength of my soul. It was a
painful road to finally discover my personal connection
with the Creator .... and this no one can take away from
me!
Details of my story are in the book of Ferruccio
Pinotti, but believe me, to be able to write one single
chapter, it took so many years. Every word has
been suffered. The only job left for now is to forgive
myself: I forgive myself, again and again, because I
thought that in distant past I had made a sincere
choice. I thought that life in the Focolare system was
the real one. I forgive myself that in those years I
made the wrong choice, because as a girl and as a young
adult I did not have the human capacity, I did not have
the mature discernment to do otherwise.
However, read LA SETTA DIVINA. Finally, with all my
heart I would like to thank Ferruccio Pinotti, because
his book function as a loudspeaker for so many cries in
the desert.
In my opinion his work has a great importance!
Find the video of
Monique in Italian here!
February 1rst, 2022
Two and a half months after the book La setta divina was published, there still has not come a serious answer from the Focolare movement to the people who have told their stories in this book. We are somewhat surprised about this, but we will continue to wait somewhat more...
In the past few days we received a lot of
letters and mails about the new book La setta divina. It
is not possible to put all the reactions here on these
websites of www.focolare.net and
www.focolari.info
but we will do our best to give our readers a general idea
of what is written to us.
Marian from Naples wrote: "I bought the book and I am now
reading the first chapters. I am impressed by the
introduction of Mr. Vignon. He writes about the way that
Chiara formulates her vision of Unity in a letter dated
November 1950: "Unity is therefore unity and only one soul
must live: mine, that is, that of Jesus in our midst, who
it is in me ». I heard this before and when I asked the
focolarini about the meaning, they indeed used the magic
word: "mystical".
The "Paradise '49" would be a text of such high
mysticism that one would have to cover one's eyes and bury
one's head in the sand to begin to reveal its intuitions.
Pierre Vignon writes that an authority of the Vatican, in
the 1950s, made it known that if these texts by Chiara
Lubich had not been destroyed, the movement would not have
been approved. Suddenly the text disappeared, only to
reappear a few years after the end of the Second Vatican
Council (1962-1965)".
Reading this and more in the introduction of this book
makes me curious of what to expect in the other chapters.
I will be happy to write again after I have read more of
the book."
Some days ago we, the
people responsible for www.focolare.net and
www.focolari.info
received the book of Ferruccio Pinotti, 'La
setta divina', (The divine cult). We are
currently reading the book with great interest and care.
And even tough we are tempted to place a quick and general
reaction about the book on this website, we will only do
this after we have read the book completely. We have seen
many reactions to the book on the internet already and we
can't help but wonder how people are able to jump to
conclusions so fast, without giving the appearance of
having read the entire book....
Twenty odd years ago
someone posed the question on this website if the focolare
movement could be considered a sect. We have asked
ourselves this question for the past two decades and now
finally, November 2021, this book of mr. Pinotti seems to
give, after a hard and thorough investigation, an answer
that is bringing new life to this discussion. Whatever one
may think of the book, we believe that it must have taken
a lot of courage, both for mr. Pinotti and for those who
contributed to the book, to come forward and speak their
minds.
So, while accepting the
inevitable risk of leaving out some people, we are happy
to thank Ferruccio Pinotti, Pierre Vignon, Maria Iarlori,
Martina Castagna, Guido Licastro, Gordon
Urquhart, D.M. Fabbroni, Claudia Benvenuti, Matteo
Ricci, C. Sgaravatto, G. Rahoy, Lucia Zanier, Ursula R.,
Silvia Martinez, L. Palmier, Monique
Goudsmit, M. Collin, D. Lai and many others for
their contributions to this book about the focolare
movement.
(You can order this book from Amazon.com
or Bol.com)
Please visit our Guestbook or write to info@focolare.net
This week (9th of November)
we will see the publication of a new book about the
Focolare movement. The title of the book will be 'La
setta divina' (The divine cult) and it is written by
Ferruccio Pinotti. This website will provide more
information about this book and the reactions from
different people who share their views about the book.
"In fact, the
intermingling of the sphere of governance and the sphere of
conscience gives rise to abuses of power and the other
abuses we have witnessed, once the cauldron of these
unpleasant problems has been uncovered." (Pope
Francis, 2021)
On Saturday the 6th of February, Pope Francis gave a very useful and clear advice to the General Assembly of the Focolare movement. We are hopeful that this will help the movement to deal with the abuses of power that have happened in the past.
Soon we will publish on
this website the stories of some people who have
experienced a certain level of abuse.
Margaret Karram (58) is the
new president of the Focolare movement.
We sincerely wish her
wisdom and strength in the challenges that are in front of
her and the movement. The people of this website would be
happy to start a fresh new dialogue with the new president
about the process of healing and respect for all the
people who have been hurt in any way by the Focolare
movement or by individuals in the movement.
For the first time in history, the Focolare movement has
offered its apologies for victims of abuse. " we would
like to take this opportunity of a worldwide link to ask
for forgiveness wholeheartedly,
sincerely, of all the people who have been victims of any
form of abuse" . (Jesus
Moran).
This is only the first
step. People with complaints need to address a Central
Commission and follow a set of complicated
guidelines (19 pages). We hope that this will not
build another barrier for those who want to file a complaint.
Please let us know if we can be of any help.
If you speak Italian,
please look at this website:
Focolari e
abusi for more information about the Focolare
movement and Chiara Lubich.
Please visit our Guestbook,
to read what our visitors wrote and to leave your own
reaction. Thank you!
One of the letters we received in our guestbook recently:
My family was very active in the Focolare movement.
Finally all the members of my family except me, who was
rather hostile to it. It made me feel very isolated
and marginal, and sometimes even judged, in my own family.
I've been through a lot.
My parents became acquainted with the Focolare
movement the year I was born and took me to the
meetings of the movement as a child. I didn't like
it, but I had no choice. After a few years, we
settled close to a focolare and, from
that moment on, the movement invaded our entire
family-life. Everything, absolutely everything, revolved
around religion, the Church, the pope, and above all
the Focolaremovement, Chiara and its ideal. Members
of the movement passed by almost every day. Meetings of
the movement were sometimes held in our house. Chiara was
completely adored. But above all, my father did not
tolerate any thought that did not correspond to Catholic
thought,the precepts of the pope or the ideology of
Chiara. When we dared to evoke another opinion or any
doubt, he reacted violently, with loud indignant cries and
a sanctimonious speech imposing on us what to believe. As
he was regarded as a good and respectable man on the
outside, he became a true despot in our family. No
dialogue was possible. Finally, the fear of expressing
something he didn't like created a permanent tension.
We couldn't, we didn't dare to express
ourselves freely.
My parents had little contact with the outside world
outside of their professional life. They were almost just
people of the movement. The outside world was presented as
evil, especially by my father who saw evil and temptation
everywhere. As a teenager, all my contacts with the
outside world were controlled and, very often, forbidden.
We didn't have television. I was not allowed to listen to
music in my room. There were only Catholic newspapers
entering the house. My readings, music, film outings
or other cultural, sports and leisure outings
with classmates were severely controlled, censored and,
more often than not, banned. The reasons for the refusals
were not always clear to me: the organization was not
Catholic; the activity, book or film was immoral; I could
meet boys; the host was a man... Finally, it took courage
to ask for an exit permit, as conflict and refusal were
almost systematic. I remember, among other things, and for
example, the virulent oppositions I encountered when, at
the age of 16, I wanted to go to a concert by Alain
Souchon and, at 22, enroll in an art school where I was
going to draw nudes. In both cases, the attitude of my
parents caused me such an internal conflict that I was
sick of it.
Sexuality was taboo. My parents didn't talk about it at
all, except in negative and reproachful terms
tinged with a lot of mystery. I couldn't
date boys. Love between man and woman was not
addressed, only the love of neighbor and God. No
flirtation allowed, pace boyfriend before graduation, no
pre-marriage sex, no contraception. For my father, it was
the woman who led the man into carnal sin. Men, on
the other hand, were presented as poor being victims
of their instincts and can hardly control them. All female
coquettishness was therefore forbidden: no
miniskirt, no bikini, no clothing that could be considered
suggestive or provocative. Everything about the body was
suspicious, its pleasures doomed. You couldn't hang out in
the bathroom or in bed. In our family, physical
contact was avoided. We didn't touch each other, we didn't
kiss, we didn't hug each other. There was no physical
display of affection.
There was little or no room for joy, lightness, laughter,
humor, spontaneity, self-deprecation. Everything was
taken seriously. The suffering was magnified, it
allowed us to live 'Jesus forsaken'. We were
educated with, continuously, Chiara's speeches that we
must renounce ourselves, sacrifice ourselves, deny
ourselves, ignore ourselves. You had to suppress your
emotions, always smile, pretend everything was fine. It
was God's will to be nothing, to want nothing, to live
only in the service of God and others. We were just
talking about love. But what love when I didn't get room
to exist? I was a very happy little girl but,
from my teens,I felt more and more crushed by the
dark and heavy atmosphere that prevailed within our
family. I was withering.
In 1980, I was present in Rome at Genfest. Just as
the pope or Chiara (I don't know) shouted to the cheering
crowd of young people, "So you are all ready to sacrifice
for each other!" the crowd said yes, gloating. And I
thought, "No, I don't want to sacrifice myself! I haven't
experienced anything yet and I'm not allowed anything. I
have nothing to sacrifice: I have already been
sacrificed." Besides, who has the right to ask a young
person to sacrifice himself?
So I wasn't in favor of the movement and as a teenager I
went less and less to meetings. At the age of 14, I didn't
want to go to Mass anymore. I was considered by my parents
to be in a state of mortal sin, in perdition. The pressure
was terrible. I went back until I was 16, stopped again,
went back, and gave up for good when I was 18. But I felt
bad in my own family.
One day, at the age of 19, I made the 'effort' of making
pancakes on a Good Friday while my parents and sister were
at the service. I wanted to celebrate the first night of
the Easter holidays happily with my family. The pancakes
were categorically refused because they had to fast. I
found myself alone with my preparations in the kitchen, my
parents having retreated to the living room in an
accusatory silence and my sister having climbed into her
room. I was devastated. And I was wondering, is this God's
will? I dreamed of a Jesus knocking on the door,
coming in and saying, 'Are there pancakes here?' and
sitting down at my table to share them with me. I felt
rejected and sacrificed by my parents in the name of their
God, their religion and their ideal.
At the age when teenage girls discover the world, I
lived locked up, deprived of all freedom, of all
autonomy, of any possibility of expression, in absolute
solitude, with parents for whom religion came first. I
always felt them in judgment, repression and reproach. I
had no one to confide in. I didn't dare talk about what
was going on at home to my classmates,I was ashamed. And
then I always thought maybe I was the problem. I thought
I was mean and bad. I was doing everything I could
to 'look' normal. I thought I would run away but I was
too shy and the outside world scared me. I became an
insomniac. I woke up at night with panic attacks because
I felt like I had no power over my life, that I had no
place to exist. I felt like 'life' and lots of
opportunities were passing through my fingers. I became
depressed. I begged God to take my life back. I thought
about suicide, but I was afraid to go to hell. I
was afraid of going crazy. I felt something was wrong,
but was it me where my parents? I was in total
confusion. Not so long ago, a psychotherapist told me
that it was psychological abuse, that my parents had
done everything to prevent me from being myself and that
I had been lucky not to have fallen into
psychosis.
When I finally left the family home, I was very bad in
my skin. I didn't know who I was. I lived cut off
from myself, my body, my emotions, my
desires,my needs. I didn't dare trust what I
felt, express my opinion or make
a decision. I felt uncomfortable in society,
did not know how to behave and take my place.
I had never felt satisfied my parents and
felt their love for who I really was. The outside
world,the others, the men and the sexuality scared me.
As for God's love, I thought I no longer deserved
it. I lived in infinite solitude, locked in
myself.
Furious with my parents, I stayed several months without
contacting them. I had to do a lot of therapy, but
there's still irreversible damage. How do you live when
your wings have been cut off at an age when they are
being deployed? Feelings of anger, sadness and guilt
still regularly overwhelm me. More than the Focolare
movement, I blame my parents for allowing
themselves to indulge in such extreme and
destructive behaviors. I would have wanted only one
thing: to be able to be myself and receive their love,
their listening, their benevolence, their trust and
their support to discover the world and to flourish
serenely.
